>I am usually not a comment whore, but…

>when I had several hundred views and one comment I got a little insecure, so I thank you for the comments and for your honesty.

I realize that exercise is hard. It is hard to a)find the time, b)find the right exercise, c)overcome natural resistance to change, and d)deal with health issues like pain or chronic illness.

What works for me isn’t necessarily the recipe for you, but I can tell you that what I did, did work for me.

My journey from the pompous Deacon’s Wife, who was too afraid to wear read underwear, to today spans more than 3 years. Getting my groove back didn’t happen overnight. I started slowly and since I really didn’t even know what my goal was, I meandered. I bought my elliptical and I started using it on the lowest setting 2-3 times a week. I suffered from chronic knee pain, so I had to take it slow. I also had lots of excuses and a busy schedule to distract me. Several weeks into trying to get more exercise, I hurt my back shoveling snow and was incapacitated for about two months.

During that two months, I had sort of an anti-epiphany. My life, like I’m sure yours, has been filled with several unexpected twists and turns. In March of 2007, my life veered in a surprising, to me, direction. Doing precisely what I felt the Lord had specifically told me to do, I had a deeply personal religious experience. This experience confirmed my faith in Jesus and profoundly affected how I view my place in the body of Christ. Unfortunately, it also seems to have led to an estrangement from the Body of Christ. The details of this experience don’t matter really, but, like Jonah and Elijah before me, this personal and deeply profound manifestation of the Holy Spirit in my life ended with me being driven into a proverbial spiritual desert and what some call “La noche oscura del alma”. The dark night of the soul.

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10 thoughts on “>I am usually not a comment whore, but…

  1. >I get hundreds of views and only a few comments……usually the same people. My dear, devoted friends.However, I've found certain posts have drawn a lot of comments and that is because people are looking for something and I happened to be writing about that something.At the end of the day, we're all ultimately self-serving. If something is not "working for us" we usually won't say much.It's definately not personal.

  2. >I'm commenting and need to find time to exercise. I am venturing into the world of reading blgs on a regular basis (ok, at least on a semi-regular basis) and am glad you are here and blog. I'm going to try to read and comment on it more often.

  3. >Chloe, I've been reading your blog for months. I love your wisdom, insight, authenticity, and humor. I have learned so much from you (here and on SL, where I lurk), so thanks for sharing your life!I've NEVER commented on a blog before, so feel honored! 🙂

  4. >Chloe – that first comment was kind of shocking but now I'm kind of laughing.My hubs and I joke that the only people that really read and/or look at our blog is my mother and one or two folks at our old church. This is rather hysterical as it's our 'newsletter' of sorts and the best and sometimes only means of communication from here to there. Fortunately I whined quite a bit in the last year and dropped several unattractive hints about wanting people to read and comment and now we're much more popular. 🙂 Hope it works that way for you too!!And as for the taking it slow on your begins of the exercising element of groove getting…at least you started. Can you imagine how you'd be now if you hadn't? Poco a pocito…

  5. >Chloe, you know my groove has been renewed in the last 2-3 years as well… and I've experienced a similar alienation/estrangement from my local church body. They don't seem to get or appreciate me for who I am. They liked my make-believe persona better. I've been recently told they don't even believe I'm really a Christian. A Christian shouldn't say and do the things I do. My husband has been told several times by different men from church (incl. elders) that he doesn't have control of me. The exact words were directed at me but cc'ed to my husband (yes they use email to bash us) "Your husband clearly has no control over what you say or do." My DH, bless his heart, responded to the man with "Show me in the Bible where I am to control my bride. Jesus loves his bride, cherishes his bride, guides his bride, intercedes for his bride- but no where is there a concept of controlling his bride." I love my husband.However, we're shopping for a new church. He would like to continue to be in ministry at a church, so if anyone in this network knows of a church looking for a Tech Director, please let me know. I'd do this anonymously but I refuse to be afraid of those people anymore.

  6. >Birthblessed, I do think that the Church can be very uncomfortable with a self-actualized woman. I see actually a lot of energy going towards controlling women. Controlling what we wear, controlling what we think, controlling what we say, controlling what we do. And it feels like it comes from fear to me. Why are there entire sermons in youth group on what girls wear but never any sermons on what boys wear? Do no girls ever stumble over a cute guy? I hope you can find your place. I'm still searching for mine. love, chloe

  7. >Mags, when you are right you are right. It is much easier to write about angst and pain than about how I brought joy and peace back into my life. It is harder to feel inspired.

  8. >Well, you know what they said……everybody loves a sad song. :)I saw Lyle Lovett in concert recently (WOW was he good). then I read an interview he gave. He said it was easier to write good music when he was sad and in a difficult place. For some reason, happy is boring. At least for an artist. 🙂

  9. >Chloe,I've lurked and read for almost forever. I've appreciated how you've put yourself out there with some difficult and still raw things. Thank you for sharing your journey so openly and honestly.I know it's not the focus of your blog, but I, for one, would love to hear more about your dark night of the soul. I've been in a protracted one. Recently I've started sending out feelers among my friends to see if they've experienced one. Usually I'm met with a stark silence. No one knows quite what to say to me about it. It is almost like the dark secret of Christianity. It happens, yet no one wants to talk about it.Thank you for your openness.God bless.Seeker

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