>Killing the Fatted Calf and other wandering thoughts…

>One of the problems I’ve always had with the story of the Prodigal Son is why didn’t the father ever killed the fatted calf for the older boy? Clearly, as evidenced in their final exchange at the end of the story, the father loves the son and never meant to take him for granted. But I can just imagine how it might have felt for the son day after day, as he dutifully headed off to work, to see his dad standing on the porch gazing out onto the horizon for his irresponsible brother.

Tomorrow, Saturday, I’m taking my daughter to the city to kill the fatted calf just for her. Well, we’re going to kill the fatted sushi since that’s just what we like to do. She has some tax refund money to spend, and I hope we can get pedicures and I need a dolce vita stroll dress for Rome. I think we’ll have a good time since we usually do.

Apparently, quite a few of you have been the elder brother and I sure do appreciate your comments. I think Susan’s points about eventually just hardening your heart against the pain the selfish sibling inflicts is right on. That’s eventually what happens. For me though, that bridge of love between them, my daughter and her brother, is a bridge I worked hard on helping erect. I mean hard, with diligence. I gave that bridge a lot of thought, care, and attention and it was a structure that brought me pride of achievement throughout these years. To see it on fire is killing me. To see my family, once my idol to myself and my own worth, aflame is killing me. But I hold onto God and beg Him to someday make something beautiful out of all these ashes.

After I wrote the blog about The Eldest Son, my daughter came over and we had a good talk about a lot things. One of the lessons I hope to take from the Prodigal Son is to never take for granted my daughter. As KayKay mentioned though, it is so easy to become obsessed with the wayward child that the ones who are still with you begin to feel like chopped liver. I think there is an important message there and I’m listening to it and learning from it.

Yesterday, I enjoyed three whole waking hours without thinking about my son at all. Suddently I realized how great I felt and then remembered, “Oh yeah, I haven’t been thinking about him.” Learning to compartmentalize him into a more manageable mental package I think is going to help my mental and emotional health quite a bit.

I really, really appreciated Magnolia’s comments to my Elder Son blog and I wanted to publically thank her for taking the time to write those comforting words. Magnolia has been instrumental in encouraging me to take up writing. She is such a good writer herself and I can’t wait until she gets back to her own blog. She’s really opened my vistas.

Anyway, that’s all I got for today. We’re doing well here considering. We’re waiting, but we’re also getting back to the task of living again while we wait.

I hope you all have a blessed day. Hug your little ones, and your bigger ones too, because you don’t know what the future will bring. Plant deep in their souls the seeds of your abiding love and expect that life might pile on a lot of shit before you see any growth.

in love,

chloe

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One thought on “>Killing the Fatted Calf and other wandering thoughts…

  1. >I’ve been offline a couple days and came rushing to check on you all, first thing. I’m glad you’re listening to such wise words. We’re continuing to pray for you!

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