>Hope (again)

>

Stop this ride; I’d like to get off.

Today was our counseling session with our son’s counselor. It went well. Things are actually going very well. He wasn’t angry at all and that wasn’t the reason he declined calling us. It would seem my son-in-law hit the nail on the head. Our son has realized that he needs to be there, but wasn’t ready to admit it to us, yet. Some pivotal things are happening and we can feel at peace that we have, in fact, done the right thing. It hasn’t been the easy thing, by far, but it was the right thing.

We had a chance to discuss denial for a few moments and the pain of stepping out of denial. I feel the Lord tugging on me to DO something concrete for my community. I’m pretty overwhelmed by that thought. I’m praying about what that would look like.

I’ve been thinking about contacting the local newspaper and seeing if there is anyone there interested in doing a story on our community and the drug culture. I’d love to show someone all the things I’ve seen on myspace recently. Especially the pictures posted on myspace of dozens of local kids drinking and doing drugs.

The counselor validated my deepening belief that today’s youth culture and the drug culture are becoming as one.

On the other hand, he also confronted my fundamental problem right now of not being able to separate my son’s actions from myself. I have taken this so personally. For so long I’ve bought into the idea that by parenting the “right” way I could prevent my children from falling into sin. Teasing out my issues and resolving my part of the puzzle doesn’t sound like any fun.

Sigh.

Anyway, today is a good day. I’m doing better.

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6 thoughts on “>Hope (again)

  1. >Mommy’s always take it personal when it comes to kids.Hell, they came out of our body. How personal can you get?We take it personal when they fail, and we take it personal when they succeed.Taking it personal when they succeed is at the core of the blaming that goes on when things go bad.Others, who have not experienced similar failings are the first to feel self righteous and relieved that it’s someone else’s kid and not theirs……….so the rock throwing commences. I think there should be a new olympic sport. “Self-Righteous Rock Throwing.” Just think of all the gold medals that could be won.28 years ago I engaged in an act I absolutely believed I would never do.Without going into the details, let’s just say I got a cold hard dose of reality in life.I saw the extent that people would go to to condemn, abandon and desert me at a time when I needed love and help the most.I had to come to grips with the fact that my own family and Christians were the worst offenders in my condemnation.I had to face up to a moral dilemma and my entire belief system and what I thought was true about me and life was completed shattered.I was broken.It took me 5 years to put my life back together again………with the help of God’s mercy and forgiveness.What did I learn?Don’t throw a rock at ANYONE. You have absolutely NO idea what is in their heart. I don’t care what you may think.God is merciful and FORGIVES.Don’t look for people to bail you out of anything.God can go to any depths to lift you up, even when people won’t.Let’s just say, it put things in perspective for the first time in my life and I’ve been a changed woman forever.Nothing like having your world shattered to finally see what mercy and forgiveness really is.Hang in there Chloe.

  2. >(((Chloe)))Wow! It’s been awhile since I’ve read your blog. A lot has happened. I’m so sorry that you’re having to walk this journey. Please know that I’ll be lifting your family to the Father. Sending lots of hugs and prayers,Monica aka Olive2Read

  3. >Hi Chloe, Your story has been a help to me, as a parent of children younger than yours. Thank you so much for sharing it-you have been a help to so many you don’t know and won’t ever meet this side of heaven.That said-you already are doing something for the community-albeit the online community-but still, sharing your story, letting people learn from your family and encourage you all, pray for you and lend support is a big deal.Soldier on, mama…you are not alone.

  4. (((Chloe)))Wow! It's been awhile since I've read your blog. A lot has happened. I'm so sorry that you're having to walk this journey. Please know that I'll be lifting your family to the Father. Sending lots of hugs and prayers,Monica aka Olive2Read

  5. Mommy's always take it personal when it comes to kids.Hell, they came out of our body. How personal can you get?We take it personal when they fail, and we take it personal when they succeed.Taking it personal when they succeed is at the core of the blaming that goes on when things go bad.Others, who have not experienced similar failings are the first to feel self righteous and relieved that it's someone else's kid and not theirs……….so the rock throwing commences. I think there should be a new olympic sport. "Self-Righteous Rock Throwing." Just think of all the gold medals that could be won.28 years ago I engaged in an act I absolutely believed I would never do.Without going into the details, let's just say I got a cold hard dose of reality in life.I saw the extent that people would go to to condemn, abandon and desert me at a time when I needed love and help the most.I had to come to grips with the fact that my own family and Christians were the worst offenders in my condemnation.I had to face up to a moral dilemma and my entire belief system and what I thought was true about me and life was completed shattered.I was broken.It took me 5 years to put my life back together again………with the help of God's mercy and forgiveness.What did I learn?Don't throw a rock at ANYONE. You have absolutely NO idea what is in their heart. I don't care what you may think.God is merciful and FORGIVES.Don't look for people to bail you out of anything.God can go to any depths to lift you up, even when people won't.Let's just say, it put things in perspective for the first time in my life and I've been a changed woman forever.Nothing like having your world shattered to finally see what mercy and forgiveness really is.Hang in there Chloe.

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