>Hope

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Choosing hope over despair isn’t as easy as it sounds. Everyday it is a conscious decision I make. No, I take that back. Every hour I’m awake it is a conscious decision I make. Some hours I choose the despair.

We received out first phone call from our son yesterday. He is allowed two 10-minute phone calls twice a week. He is allowed to call us and his sister and her husband…and that’s it. He used his first phone call to call his sister first.

Maybe I should have been upset that he didn’t call me first, but I’m not. One thing that I have been blessed with is that my children are very close to one another. He’s missed her terribly since she got engaged and married. I think it is a good sign that he’s reaching out to her.

Anyway, he used up half of his 10 minutes talking to his sister and so we got to talk to him for 5 minutes. He sounds good. He doesn’t think he needs to be in treatment, but he’s going along with it for now. Early interventions are often like this though, so I’m not discouraged. Our son hasn’t collected the usual baggage of an addict yet…in other words, he hasn’t hit bottom. My husband and I are trying to raise his bottom for him so that he doesn’t need to experience the things that many addicts experience.

Years ago, I heard a wonderful lady speak about addiction being like a bus ride. You can get off at any stop. We’re trying to stop our son’s bus and we’re praying he chooses to get off here.

I’ve been reading a book called, “Relief for Hurting Parents” by Buddy Scott. It was given to me by someone who’s been here and done this. The first chapter was such an encouragement to me.

Anyway, I just wanted to let people know that we’re holding up ok. Thanks for the prayers and the kind pms and comments. As I said before, they are a huge encouragement to me.

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9 thoughts on “>Hope

  1. >As a former addict, and I dare say, likely much worse than your ds, I can say the “bottom” theory is true.I was 18 years old and laying in a near coma from a drug overdose (meant to take my life) with a psychiatrist by my bedside before it “occurred” to me that I might have a tad bit of a drug issue.Up until that point, I seriously did not believe I had a problem. Yet, I was stooping to the lowest forms of human behavior to get my next crank shot. (I was addicted to methamphetamine).I had holes in my arms, infected tracks from dirty needles and weighed about 100 lbs soaking wet (I was 5’10) and yet, I didn’t think I had a problem.Addiction is a twisted psychology and unfortunately it takes the lowest of the lows for it to register. Sometimes that low doesn’t come soon enough. Thankfully, for me, it did.I hope you are able to make some breakthroughs with your ds.If he doesn’t see he has a problem or is possibley heading towards one, you have your work cut out for you.Hang in there.

  2. >Wow. That’s a lot of phone privilege. The military school I looked at, allowed no phone calls for the entire first month, and after that they only get one 5 min call, only to parents, every other week. The “off” weeks they are encouraged to write a letter.

  3. >Mags, thanks for being so honest and telling a piece of your story. Dh and I are also recovering meth addicts, so I truly hear what you are saying. THIS is our best effort to rescue and recover our son before he has to have experiences like you’ve written about. I think the major reason that we acted so quickly is because we KNOW where this road leads…jails, institutions or death. But convincing a 17 year old who has the world by the tail that he’s on the the road to nowhere isn’t the easiest task. It is truly in his hands whether he wants to grasp this opportunity or whether he needs to stay on the bus for some more “adventures”. Neither of us think that our son is really and addict yet. We’re trying to intervene before that happens. But you’re right….we have our work cut out for us.

  4. >Mag Seven, I think the major difference is that our son is in a facility that emphasizes family therapy and dynamics. Our son has 4 hours a week of individual therapy and 15-20 hours a week of group therapy. My husband and I have one hour of counseling with our son’s therapist every week. So there’s a lot of attention to family dyamics and family counseling and reuniting families together again. This isn’t just a process for just our son, but a process that includes our entire family .

  5. >Choosing hope is choosing belief over unbelief. It’s believing that God is greater than all the “what ifs” that life’s circumstances can throw at us. He is worthy of the kind of trust you are choosing to place in Him.Love you!

  6. >Oh how I understand the ups and downs of trying to get through to a 17 yo teen boy. I have one of my own.He is also of the “addictive personality” persuasion and I’ve pulled no punches and held back no truth with him about the hard realities of addiction.he is aware of my own struggles and I’m on him like “white on rice” as we say in the south when I see leanings toward destructive behavior.I think you and Tick are absolutely doing the right thing for your son right now, even if he doesn’t see it.Love you,One fellow former crack addict to another – who knew? (not so sure it’s a good thing to have in common……….)you know where I am if you need me

  7. >(((Chloe)))I’m glad to hear that you get to talk to him a bit, I was wondering about that. Seems like a good thing that its so limited too.I’m sure you’re probably learning all kinds of things that you’d rather not know, huh? I do think you’re doing it the right way though, fwiw.I want someone to “raise [my] bottom”! T-tapp just ain’t cuttin it. ;~D

  8. >Unfortunately, Heidi, even as a longtime t-tapper, I must say that I believe that lunges and squats are the only real answer to a cute, tight bottom. Sorry.

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